For the second year in a row, I didn’t go to Pennsic. I have a new job, so I couldn’t take the time off. But that’s okay, really. I didn’t really need to drive all the way to Pennsylvania just to have a good time. In fact, I’ve compiled a list of all the cool things I was doing while everyone else was at Pennsic.
Drinking Beer on the Porch
Now, I know what you’re thinking. People do all sorts of drinking at Pennsic. Hell, most of the time you can get free alcohol from random people, especially at night. However, no one gets to choose what kind of beer they get. It could be anything from Budweiser to PBR.
So instead of wandering around, drunkenly accepting offers of free booze from strangers, I decided to sit on my own porch and drink my own good beer. Ah, there’s nothing like a sunny day and a brewski.
No pesky weirdos in the next tent, no strangers walking down the road in front of my camp… just me on the porch, wondering if my neighbors are medicated and watching the hippie kids walk down the sidewalk towards Church Street.
Walking my Girlfriend’s Dog
There’s one thing that no one at Pennsic is going to have, because they’re not allowed to have them. Yep, I’m talking about pets.
Many people get kind of stupid when it comes to their pets. They become convinced that their pets are actually small people, and that they can be easily controlled by voice command. This is perhaps the best example of “bullshit” that I can think of. All dogs have to poo, and most people are lazy. Add these two facts together and you have a Pennsic which is known primarily for the poo it generated. (I’ll admit, the “drunk guy fell down” stories would be a little funnier at such a Pennsic, but I’d rather hear about it than attend it.)
Fortunately, I didn’t go to Pennsic. This means that I have full access to my girlfriend’s pug. When I’m at her apartment I can watch him run in pointless circles, dodge to the right as he jumps up onto the back of the couch, and push him away when he tries to endlessly lick my head. Best of all, I still have the opportunity to walk him.
First thing in the morning, long before I have to leave for work, I get to throw on some clothes and take Dublin around the block. It’s a great way to bond with the little guy, really. We get to see a bit of Cara’s neighborhood while Dublin sniffs everything he comes across and whizzes on most of it. And, of course, I get to watch a pug poo.
No one at Pennsic gets to bond with an animal in this way. It’s kind of sad, really.
Drinking at a Bar
Even though I have a woman these days, there are still times when I find myself out on my own. During these times, I sometimes wonder what my friends are doing at that very moment. (Drinking, most likely.)
Once again I find myself wishing I could have gone to Pennsic this year, and once again I remind myself of why I didn’t. If you look at the photos on the right, you’ll see that I have a coaster for my beer. Good luck finding those at Pennsic.
In fact, good luck finding microbrew samples at Pennsic. I had six different types of beer in the second photo on the left. I can’t remember what their names were or which ones I liked, but I definitely tasted them all in a clean, sunlit environment. And when I was done, I went to a real bathroom and used a real toilet.
I even wore one of my festive shirts for the occasion.
Training for a Marathon
As you may have guessed from some of my other posts, I’m training up for a marathon. This is yet another thing that’s difficult to do at Pennsic. Oh, there are people who run around the lake in the morning. They go maybe a mile or three before returning to their camps, while I need to go at least 8 miles just to make things worth it.
If you’re just back from Pennsic and you’re feeling a little jealous about how far I’ve been running, then relax. It’s not your fault. You’ve been stuck in a gigantic campground for two weeks with strangers pushing free beer into your hands. That’s a serious blow to your motivation. It’s hard to get out there and run when you’re drunk and full of random carbs.
Sure, I’ve got a two-week lead on you, but there’s no reason why you can’t catch up with me. If you need a little lift, or maybe just a reminder of how much fun it is to train up, then check out the video below.
I did miss Pennsic a little, but really I can’t complain. I’ve had an extraordinary time here in Burlington. Truly, it was an unmatched experience. I feel sorry for the folks who went this year. They really missed out.