For those of you who don’t know yet, I’m getting married in a few hours, right here in Burlington, Vermont. I’ve been asked a few times if I’m nervous or if I’m getting cold feet or something. I’m not and I haven’t, but it makes me wonder. Am I supposed to be nervous? Is there something wrong with me? Am I missing something? After all, doesn’t Hollywood teach us that everyone completely flips out just before their weddings? If that’s the case, then I’m really out of touch.
Not only am I failing to flip out, but I’ve known my fiancé for years. In the movies, people get married after knowing each other for a few hours. Well, and also after they kill a few spies, ninjas and/or aliens together. Cara and I haven’t witnessed a single Alien Ninja Invasion together. We haven’t fortified our apartment against zombie attacks, or fallen into another dimension where we fit into a poorly-written prophesy, or sought revenge against some villain who wronged us in a choppy flashback sequence.
Instead, we just sort of live together and get along pretty well. And we want to keep doing it. (Yes, there’s a dirty joke to be made from that last statement, but I’m not going to do it. I’m trying to be serious for a moment.) After several years together, we’re very eager to share my work’s insurance coverage and nab that joint-filing tax break. We want to ease our minds by just trying to remember one last name. We want to cement Cara’s belief that our dog, Dublin, is actually our very own human child. We want to have our wedding, and we want to do it before the old people in the family die off.
But I digress. I’m writing this to tell you about this morning’s jitters. I mean, this morning’s run.
I woke up at 5am. I wanted to sleep until about 6:30am, but it was a no-go. Somewhere around 5:30am I posted to Facebook that I was trying to sleep in with little success, and I received a comment soon after. My friend Sara said “GO FOR A RUN!”
Huh. I had been taking a break this week because of some sniffles, so I was feeling a bit edgy. I wasn’t sure if I should go out there. I haven’t determined if the cottonwood trees are getting me with their little snowflake pollen thingies, or if I’m actually getting sick. Yeah, sick. Should I do this?
Well, there’s been a lot of sneezing and I haven’t gotten worse. Also, one Allegra seems to cover me for an entire day. I’m not sick. I decided to go. It’s early, so I didn’t think I’d be too exposed to things, and sweating a bit would clear my sinuses. I got my running stuff on and stepped over my brother. Oh, did I mention that I have three dudes in my apartment? My brother, Andy and Dave. All asleep. My family’s oldest woke up and advised against a run, worried that I would have a freak accident with only five hours to go. I assured him that I would be okay. Minutes later, I was looking at this:
Yep. Clear weather and beauty, all around. I took my iPhone and listened to bluegrass as I ran along Waterfront Park, and found that my head was clearing in more ways than one. My sinuses were getting better, and my mind was clearing up. I guess I really am a bit nervous. It’s a big day, after all. I want things to go well so Cara can finally stop worrying. I want to put the little rings on.
As I ran, I started to relax. I felt better. Clearer. And in the back of my mind, I remembered that this is how lots of crime dramas start off. Some dude, about to be married, running out somewhere alone… next thing you know, Nathan Fillion is standing over me and making awful (yet funny) jokes. But no worries. Besides a few bicycles and some other runners, my only encounter was this little guy.
It was just a 5K cruise, but it worked out well. I did my run, cleared my head, stopped worrying in the back of my mind, and returned to my apartment to find everyone still asleep. They stayed that way for a good while longer, too. Then I started the coffee maker, and guys started to float into the kitchen.
I’m ready for today. This is going to be good.